{"ops":[{"insert":"Voting has concluded!"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"🥇 User: Wilkson "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Zedruu Layers Matter"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9025453/zedruu_layers_matter"},"insert":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9025453/zedruu_layers_matter"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"🥈 User: MasterMizzet "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Sensory Overload"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9113187/sensory_overload"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9113187/sensory_overload"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"🥉 User: HX15"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Dormammu I've Come to Bargain"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9081629/dormammu_ive_come_to_bargain"},"insert":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9081629/dormammu_ive_come_to_bargain"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"Each winner has been contacted by the email associated with their Archidekt account. "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"Congratulations, and thank you to all who participated!"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"---"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"We have our finalists! Matt's castmate Joey Schultz was kind enough to fill in for him in this month's video: "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":{"video":"https://www.youtube.com/embed/UFgouss31gE?showinfo=0"}},{"insert":"\nPlease be sure to shoot your favorite deck(s) an upvote! Each finalist's placement end of the voting on Wednesday, September 25 determines their awarded Cardsphere credit. Congratulations to the finalists, and thank you to all who participated"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"User: HX15"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Dormammu I've Come to Bargain"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9081629/dormammu_ive_come_to_bargain"},"insert":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9081629/dormammu_ive_come_to_bargain"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"User: MasterMizzet "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Sensory Overload"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9113187/sensory_overload"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9113187/sensory_overload"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"User: Wilkson "},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Deck: Zedruu Layers Matter"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9025453/zedruu_layers_matter"},"insert":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9025453/zedruu_layers_matter"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"---"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"Hello brewers,"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nHappy September! With EDHREC's annual "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://edhrec.com/top/salt"},"insert":"Salt"},{"insert":" vote just around the corner, it feels only right that this month's deckbuilding contest be all about your most misery-inducing lists. Do you have a deck so heinous that you dare not bring it to Commander night for fear of losing friends? Now's your time to shine! Details below.\n\nWhat’s the contest all about?"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Working within the parameters of the prompt provided below, construct a decklist with your own creative spin. Three chosen finalists will be awarded store credit to cardsphere.com. \n\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"For September’s deckbuilding contest, brew an absolutely miserable Commander-legal list. Just this once, ignore all considerations for social etiquette and build a deck that no one wants to play against. Lists will be primarily evaluated by how creatively they achieve this goal. Extra consideration to those that do so without simply grabbing the top Saltiest cards from EDHREC!"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":"Here’s how to participate:"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Brew an EDH/Commander legal deck on Archidekt that satisfies the prompt.\nAny unreleased cards spoiled during the contest’s duration "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"are"},{"insert":" allowed."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Silver-bordered and acorn cards, while cool, are "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"not "},{"insert":"allowed. "},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Digital-only cards (such as those designed for the Alchemy format on Arena) are "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"not"},{"insert":" allowed."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Strictly one deck submitted per user."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nReply to this newspost, the Discord submission post, "},{"attributes":{"underline":true},"insert":"or"},{"insert":" the announcement tweet from the "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://twitter.com/archidekt"},"insert":"@archidekt"},{"insert":" account on Twitter with a link to your deck before "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"9:00 pm EST (UTC -5, currently) on Wednesday, September 11, 2024 "},{"insert":"(do not submit the same deck in multiple places). Only one submission per user! \nFrom the eligible submissions, we'll select three finalists with lists that we believe best embody the spirit of the prompt. "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Deck descriptions are not required but certainly may provide valuable context!"},{"insert":"\n\nOn "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Wednesday, September 18, 2024"},{"insert":", we’ll announce three finalists via Discord and a video on the "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.youtube.com/@EDHRECast"},"insert":"EDHRECast YouTube channel"},{"insert":". Each finalist will be awarded credit on "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.cardsphere.com/"},"insert":"cardsphere.com"},{"insert":". The value of the credit is in US dollars and depends on the finalist's placement in deck upvotes at the end of the week-long polling period:\n1st Place Prize - $250"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"2nd Place Prize - $150"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"3rd Place Prize - $100"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Finalists will be contacted via email, Discord or Twitter/X (depending on where they submitted) regarding their winnings within roughly 24 hours following the conclusion of voting on Wednesday, September 25, 2024. Please note, you must have a Cardsphere account in order to receive your winnings. It's quick and free-- "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.cardsphere.com/signup"},"insert":"register here"},{"insert":" if you don't have an account already!\n\nWe also now apply a “Contest Winner” role to all finalists, giving them a little trophy icon next to their username on deck tiles (the links that appear on places like the homepage). Prior contest winners have already had this role applied. \n\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/contestRules"},"insert":"Official contest rules"},{"insert":".\n\nThank you!"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nIf you have any questions, feel free to ask here, reach out on "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://twitter.com/archidekt"},"insert":"Twitter"},{"insert":", or join "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://discord.gg/sctEc9Ru36"},"insert":"our public Discord server"},{"insert":". We look forward to seeing what you all come up with! \n\nThe Archidekt Team"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"}]}
Edited 9/27/2024, 1:07:17 AM
28
{"ops":[{"insert":"I think that the ability to read is overrated. Consider "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9077733/buttercups_opus"},"insert":"Buttercup's Opus:"},{"insert":"\nCompletely Illegible"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Entirely Unsynergistic"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Coated in Paragraphs of Rules Text for your Opponents to Squint Out"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"World's Best (Coolest (Best)) Mana Base"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nIt is Buttercup's Opus, but it is by no means a Magnum Opus.\n"}]}
45
{"ops":[{"insert":"the thing I hate the most is that path to exile is the only card that's not a secret lair\n"}]}
3
{"ops":[{"insert":"I don't even need to read the cards and I completely hate this. Well done. \n"}]}
2
{"ops":[{"insert":"Reading the card explains the card!\n"}]}
1
{"ops":[{"insert":"Thanks, I hate it!\n"}]}
0
{"ops":[{"insert":"From a purely aesthetic perspective, the deck is pretty. From a playing perspective, this is an excellent entry to the competition.\n"}]}
-1
{"ops":[{"insert":"As much as I hate to say this, you deserve the win.\n"}]}
-1
{"ops":[{"insert":"if this deck even works it is a masterpiece\n\n"}]}
-2
{"ops":[{"insert":"Games tend to vary in length, but I'd like for them to always take multiple hours.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9081629/dormammu_ive_come_to_bargain"},"insert":"Dormammu, I've come to bargain"},{"insert":" is a deck where you try to repeat the game as many times as possible, and making your opponents more miserable every time.\n\nThe commander, Lavinia in conjunction with knowledge pool and omen machine lock your opponents out of playing most of their deck. In addition, the deck runs many other stax/hate pieces to slow opponents down while assembling blockers for the time stone, Karn Liberated. Once Karn is deployed, simply tick him up until you can restart the game, but with an advantage over the other players allowing you to repeat the process over and over again more easily. Keep in mind that exiling Djeru, With Eyes Open guarantees you to have Karn in your hand when the game is restarted. Always hold up protection for Karn, as there is only 1 copy of Recall to recur him, and there is no way to get him back from exile. Under a rule of law effect try not to play any cards during your turn as you cant respond to a player using removal on your end step if you do so. You could keep the game going indefinitely, but as an act of mercy you can slowly kill opponents with Crucible of Worlds + Strip Mine + Lonely Arroyo. At some point they probably wont even try to stop you from killing them like this, so good luck with that.\n"}]}
11
{"ops":[{"insert":"WOW I fucking HATE this. Congrats on a successful brew. \n"}]}
2
{"ops":[{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9124991"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9124991"},{"insert":"\n\nI've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares.\n\nI've slung cardboard in pods where a cheesy, drawn-out, completely unfair death would have been a mercy - games which stretched out toward eternity, unfolding and dilating time itself like an infinitely nested fractal. Free-for-alls so needlessly and impenetrably complex that I was "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"wishing "},{"insert":"a woefully absent stax player had prevented all of our brash and foolish plays long, long before I earned - at last - the sweet embrace of annihilation.\n\nKingmaking? Lockouts? Naked chaos? Game extensions and delays that lead nowhere? These are merely a handful of "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"ingredients"},{"insert":" of the madness which can be stewed from a pile of 100 Magic: the Gathering cards. And me? I am the chef. I have been (accidentally) preparing for this prompt all of my life.\n\nI present \"I'm Not Trapped in This Pod With You; You're Trapped in This Pod With ME.\" I could go on at length about each individual inclusion; every one of which was personally and regrettably vetted by me over 12 long years of making terrible brewing errors in Commander. For the most part, however, I will try to summarize the broad strokes.\n\nTo ensure playability and consistent impact in even high-power pods, the infrastructure of the deck is comprised of the most notoriously unfun and dubiously-designed format staples available. This is why inclusions such as Rhystic Study, Smothering Tithe, Dockside Extortionist, Mana Crypt, Mana Vault, Grim Monolith, Vampiric Tutor, Demonic Tutor, and Consecrated Sphinx - among others - have such a critical role in this brew: These cards represent some of the most tedious and violently imbalancing means of resource production and consistency generation in the format, so it hardly makes sense to design a list for this prompt without them. Normally I would cook without tutors to keep things fresh, but this list being brutally repetitive only serves to support the prompted design goal, in this instance.\n\nWhat carnival of horrors was established atop that obscene foundation? There are far, far worse things than death - so victory and/or defeat are enemies of the brew. Indeed, a few cards such as Crumbling Sanctuary and Glacial Chasm have been included specifically to artificially prolong the... 'encounter'. Rather, the list endeavors to explore the most unpleasant play patterns and game experiences which do not usually end the game in and of themselves; because it had no particular need for a high degree of focus, the deck pursues multiple such play lines - perhaps chief among them being monopolizing the play clock (sensei's divining top, expropriate, phyrexian portal, thieves' auction, etc), commander denial (null chamber, drannith magistrate, treachery, Oko, etc), and players handling each other's cards while being unable to access their own (cruel entertainment, captivating glance, endless whispers, confusion in the ranks, shared fate, shifting grift, etc).\n\nIf the remarkable degree of disruption begins to take hold and draw the game out, the list quickly approaches a sort of hyperdense complexity singularity, where the splashier plays such as Hive Mind, Cruel Entertainment, Eternal Dominion, and Eye of the Storm begin compounding with one another to exponentially increase the logistical burdens of resolving many basic game actions. Ultimately, however, the deck is capable of establishing a variety of insufferable gamestates, ranging from simple and straightforward asymmetrical lockouts like Drannith Magistrate + Knowledge Pool, to byzantine and particularly heinous interactions such as Hive Mind + Eternal Dominion or Arcane Bombardment + Thieves' Auction/Cruel Entertainment. Many of these simply build atop the others as the deck implacably constructs its monument to unplayably complex and tedious game-states.\n\nThe rotten cherry on this nightmare sundae includes a few notoriously game ruining 'good-stuff' all-stars, such as Cyclonic Rift, Possibility Storm, free counterspells, Teferi's Protection, and Child of Alara; a repeatable board-wipe perched menacingly in the command zone. These picks help to ensure that no games with this list will EVER accidentally wind up being somehow enjoyable for someone (other than perhaps a particularly sadistic pilot). Notably, Nadu, Winged Wisdom was carefully considered during this phase of deck construction, but I decided the brew wasn't actually tuned to sufficiently abuse it.\n\nFor maximum efficacy, it is recommended that the pilot play an unsleeved and fully proxied copy of the deck on a stained hentai playmat, whilst availing themselves of a snack of barbecue chicken wings and cheetos.\n"}]}
Edited 9/10/2024, 5:27:26 AM
10
{"ops":[{"insert":"This post is so grotesquely poetic that I dramatically read it out loud to my dog. It was fun to read like that. \n"}]}
4
{"ops":[{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff"},"insert":"Something that I know that makes some people sweat pure salt, is bouncing their stuff. And again. And again. That is exactly what this deck is trying to do, bouncing their stuffy getting down a rule of law effect and making them wait 5 years to reploy everything. And then I can bounce it all again! In addition, this deck tries to keep their opponents doing nothing with cards that bounce their lands and cards like confounding conundrum and our good friend Dranith magistrate. Cards that are extra hilarious with the bounce strategy are Jin-gitaxias Core augur and Jin-gitaxias Progress Tirant, (the latter works great witt bounce effects). I also just love to windfall away the cards i just bounced (sadly I didnt have enough room for narset."},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff"},"insert":"Here it is: "},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff","link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9101685/do_it_again_i_said_do_it_again"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9101685/do_it_again_i_said_do_it_again"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff"},"insert":"PS:"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff"},"insert":"Dont you like the thought of sitting on a commander table, and everytime someone play a permanent you say: “What a goof play, how about you do it again?”"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"background":"transparent","color":"#ffffff"},"insert":"Because I do!"},{"insert":"\n"}]}
0
{"ops":[{"insert":"No, I will not explain how banding works agian. Just assign blockers, and I'll tell you why you're wrong afterwards. "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9153608/nope"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9153608/nope"},{"insert":"\n"}]}
6
{"ops":[{"insert":"Your cruelty knows no bounds! (but that's the point, so good job.)\n"}]}
1
{"ops":[{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/5096281/power_level_0"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/5096281/power_level_0"},{"insert":"\n\nPower Level 0 -- the deck that cannot win. It can't deal damage. It doesn't mill, poison, or force its opponents to draw cards. But it's not a goldfish opponent, oh no. It can counter spells, try to establish a lock, draw cards of its own, annoy permanents, and so on. It is, in essence, a deck that is perfectly able to kingmake and perfectly unable to itself become king. It can defend its interests and offend yours. Without just going for salty cards, it is the perfect disrespect piece, which wastes time and effort and nothing else. It is refusing to play the game and still influencing the game that you are refusing to play. It is the weakest of all possible decks... and also, in my mind, the most annoying possible deck to be seated against. A deck that exists solely to troll.\n"}]}
Edited 9/5/2024, 5:45:33 AM
6
{"ops":[{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"Get Lost, Abandon Hope, You Are Already Dead!\""},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true,"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9064501/mind_your_manners_codies_book_of_insults?sort=alpha&stack=custom"},"insert":"Mind Your Manners (Codie's Book of Insults)"},{"insert":"\nInflict psychic damage on your foes with the most bad-mannered cards in "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Magic: The Gathering."},{"insert":"\n\nInspired by players who name \"Abandon Hope\" when resolving a "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://scryfall.com/card/mb2/181/demonic-consultation"},"insert":"Demonic Consultation"},{"insert":", I've created a budget deck that attempts to cram as many of these salt-inducing spells into a list as possible. Whenever you cast \"Failure\", \"Saw It Coming\" or \"Take Out The Trash\", you get to live out your very own evil villain fantasy, mocking the futile actions of those who try to stop you. Bonus points if you play with a deck of archenemy cards (Behold the Power of Destruction, All Shall Smolder in My Wake, Nothing Can Stop Me Now, etc.) and read them in the most menacing voice you can muster.\n\nI settled on "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Codie, Vociferous Codex"},{"insert":" as a commander for:\nCodie's focus on instants and sorceries, which I've found make up the majority of these types of cards"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Codie's 5-color identity—giving me access to the best insults I could find in all colors"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Codie's colorless casting cost, allowing me to run mostly basics and a suite of cheap ramp/color-fixing"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nAn unfortunate side effect of this deck is that it's very funny to play against. It's infuriating whenever my friends cheer when I try to "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?feature=shared"},"insert":"\"Declare Dominance\""},{"insert":" (Core Set 2019) or call someone an \"amateur\" (Force of Will flavor text). I would argue that this deck is the saltiest, not because of how it makes other people feel, but because how it makes "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"me"},{"insert":" feel when people don't take my insults seriously.\n\nThat said, these cards allow me to interact with the game fairly well. While the deck itself is rather low-powered, it aims to close out games by resolving The A***s' Oracle, through a cEDH combo line that is unreasonable to do consistently given the deck's high average mana value. Cascading any 1-mana spell into Profane Tutor > Bring to Light > Ad Naus/Doomsday ensures that this deck is at least able to pull off wins "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"some"},{"insert":" of the time.\n\nNote to self:\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"DON'T"},{"insert":" name \"Abandon Hope\" when resolving Demonic Consultation with this deck.\n"}]}
Edited 9/5/2024, 9:00:01 PM
5
{"ops":[{"insert":"Announcing the arrival of the high council's new tax plan: "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://www.archidekt.com/decks/9085432/taxation_without_representation"},"insert":"Taxation Without Representation"},{"insert":" \nTrying to perform a game action? Do you pay the 3 base tax and then the optional 1 but I draw a card?"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Take your turn trying to cast a spell! Or maybe save up that precious mana to attack!"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Did you manage to stop one of the combos? Well, I hope you are ready for another 30 minutes till we try to resolve the next one!"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Why prevent opponents from doing things when you can make them pay ; D"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"As I said in the description, this is a tax-themed deck that I build around January 1st and play until April 15th so that I can remind all my "},{"attributes":{"strike":true},"insert":"friends"},{"insert":" opponents that they should work on filing their taxes for the year. \n"}]}
Edited 9/11/2024, 5:23:52 AM
4
{"ops":[{"insert":"Take initiative with your Day/Night cycle "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tovolar, Dire Overlord // Tovolar, the Midnight Scourge"}},{"insert":" where stickers take advantage of their transformation giving you more value every time Daybound Tovolar comes on board. And in case that wasn't bad enough, between "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Undercity // The Initiative"}},{"insert":" and City's Blessing, and Ticket Counters and Stickers, the deck is filled with absolutely unaware land destruction and board wipes that will not help the player close out the game. Yeah, losing all your lands and then someone wins is bad, but what's worse is losing all your lands and no one wins.\n\nI actually did try to make this somewhat playable and besides the mass land destruction, if somebody was really good at bookkeeping, I think this would make a hilariously awfully reasonable deck for casual level.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9083742/daynight_sticker_etb_wdungeon_advantage"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9083742/daynight_sticker_etb_wdungeon_advantage"},{"insert":"\n"}]}
Edited 9/6/2024, 2:03:00 AM
4
{"ops":[{"insert":"How would you like to play against a deck that is nothing but removal and draw spells and maybe a lock?\n\nEnter "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9082508/just_trust_me_thats_what_it_says"},"insert":"Just Trust Me, That's What it Says"},{"insert":"\n\nLuckily almost all of those cool textless player rewards cards are removal! So now we can all sit around and admire them until one of us decks out!\n\nAs far as I can tell , there's no real way to win with this deck aside from maybe a fireball or commander damage but we don't care about winning. This deck's philosophy is that the longer the game takes, the longer we can look at the pretty pictures. \n"}]}
Edited 9/5/2024, 2:54:46 AM
4
{"ops":[{"insert":"Brother/Sister, that deck costs TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. ARE YOU OKAY???\n"}]}
1
{"ops":[{"insert":"This is hilarious I hope you place!\n"}]}
1
{"ops":[{"insert":"We all love Magic the Gathering, but we can get bogged down in the nitty gritty of reading the cards. With the advent of online databases such as Gatherer and Scryfall, rules text and recognizable art for fan-favorite and staple cards is completely irrelevant. Now, we have the freedom to enjoy the wide array of alternative art up for offer without pesky text getting in the way! \n\nNow we are all free to "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9095394/read_the_room"},"insert":"Read the Room"},{"insert":" and simply enjoy each others' company!\n\nYour opponents will be dazzled by the inclusion of Theoden as your Commander and won't mind one iota that this re-skin adds another layer of complexity to Kenrith's abilities. \n\nYour opponents will be immersed by the in-universe Phyrexian language on Phyrexian Arena, Sheoldred and the other Praetors, and Beast Within!\n\nThis isn't all gimmicks, though! This deck is a status symbol! You get to make your opponents absolutely ooze jealousy as they ogle your Bordlerless Poster One Ring, your super-collectible serialized Greek Sokrates, and your Elven script Sol Ring!\n\nNotoriously simple cards such as Thalia and the Gitrog Monster, Dauthi Voidwalker, Jaxis, the Troublemaker, and Rankle, Master of Pranks have been entirely stripped of their obsolete rules text so that your opponents can enjoy the full glory of their art! Path to Exile has been given the same treatment, because everybody knows this one is the one that grants life (right?)!\n\nYour opponents will be having so much fun looking up the rules text on their phones that they won't want the fun to end! And, we've got a plan for that! This deck comes equipped with community-favorite win conditions meant to draw the game out for long, maximum enjoyment! Stop your opponents from ruining their own fun with interaction spells with Senn Triplets! Soften the blow of your opponents' creatures with Elesh Norn! Let your opponents re-consider if they want to end the game with that big nasty creature through Sheoldred's sacrifice effect. Vorinclex will let your opponents savor each land as it slowly untaps to keep the game crawling along at a mellow pace. \n\nAlthough this might seem like an aimless pile of \"good stuff\" it actually has quite a bit of draw (probably?)! Opponents will cheer for the thrill of the wonderfully random Teferi's Puzzle Box effect! It's also likely this deck has enough ramp! It runs Noble Heirarch, I think. Or maybe the other one. It also has one of the good green ramp spells! No, not that one. The other one. \n\nBy the end of the game, if your opponents (or you) long to return to reading some good, old-fashioned rules text, never fear! The full rules text basic lands have been included! \n\nI know this is probably not an entirely original idea (because it's such a darn good and appealing idea), but this is my unique take on it! Enjoy!\n"}]}
3
{"ops":[{"insert":"im beginning to think that reading the card does not in fact explain the card...\n"}]}
3
{"ops":[{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/8967390/rude"},"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/8967390/rude"},{"insert":"\n\nThis deck has 1 goal, kill people with their own commander. Its an equipment control list that utilizes the commander, Merieke Ri Berit, to steal commanders, and everything else, and load them up with equipment to win with commander damage. Also has other equipment synergy with Merieke to wipe the board on repeat (thornbite staff), draw cards while doing it (skull clamp), and even saving everything wiped this way for a rainy day (promise of tomorrow).\n\nThe card with the highest salt score in the list is sol ring, so lets see if we can shake up the salt vote.\n"}]}
Edited 9/5/2024, 1:58:45 AM
3
{"ops":[{"insert":"This is the deck incarnating the deadly sin of "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Wrath"},{"insert":".\n\nI made this "},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true,"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/7154087/attention_le_feu_wrath"},"insert":"Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":" "},{"insert":"deck and I'm not sure why anymore. My friends do NOT like playing against this deck for the obvious reason that by turn five or six, every other player is dead. It will deal a MASSIVE amount of non-combat damage to every other player at the same time. It was not intended as a cEDH deck and it's not... but it's probably a 9/10.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"When you play this deck, you have no friends, you have no enemies. You are only making the combat waaayyy harder for the other players as if they were battling in an erupting volcano and... well in that specific metaphor, you are the errupting volcano."},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"DO NOT BUILD THIS DECK"},{"insert":"\n\n"}]}
2
{"ops":[{"insert":"One of the worst ways to spoil a perfectly fun game of EDH is the discussion of politics. The Second worst way is Stax. So, I Present to you my magnum opus. The MAGA DECK. Also known as "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9081486/im_gonna_build_a_wall_and_youre_going_to_pay_for_it"},"insert":"I’m Gonna Build A Wall And You’re Going To Pay For It."},{"insert":" Its the Red, White, and Blue Voting nightmare. But wait, it gets worse:\n\tWanna cast a spell? That will cost you.\n\tWanna draw a card? That will cost you.\n\tWanna target my permanents? That will cost you.\n\tWanna attack me? Ha. NO. You cant afford it.\n\tWanna attack someone that isnt me? Only if you ask nicely\n\nNow you may be asking how does it win? Aside from you conceding out of frustration, I have a least 4 win conditions. So I hope you like watching me draw cards while you wait to play magic.\n"}]}
2
{"ops":[{"insert":"What if \"kafkaesque\" was a MtG deck? Presenting: "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9097144/permit_a38_september_2024_deckbuilding_contest"},"insert":"Permit A38"},{"insert":"\n\n\nI love milling people out. I think the hard-to-estimate remaining library count that will either make you lose out of the blue or force you to count your library every turn makes for a very fun, well-paced and intuitive gameplay experience. \n\nUnfortunately I've been told Mill is among the worst alternate win-cons in commander. Something about higher deck size and the four-player nature of the game. However, the person telling me this made the understandable mistake of assuming those players get to do a particular lot, which isn't part of the plan. I'm sure the people at the table will understand that they'll just have to watch me trying to run a nonviable wincon for a bit, especially without prior notice. Then again, they could have left after hearing the word \"Azorius\".\n\nSpeaking of Azorius, my commander of choice will be "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Grand Arbiter Augustin IV"}},{"insert":" -- exclusively in service to the table. It will make my deck more viable, so my opponents won't have to worry about mismatched power level. Additionally, it will somewhat correct those pesky high-power cards my opponents run, that tend to make the game about themselves. A 5 mana "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Sheoldred, the Apocalypse"}},{"insert":" ? entirely reasonable. A 2 mana "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer"}},{"insert":" ? Sign me up! A 4 mana "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Nadu, Winged Wisdom"}},{"insert":" ? Still wildly busted, but you can't have everything your way.\n\nFor those rare cases where players decide to invest in the inopportune (especially after taxes, see "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Rhystic Study"}},{"insert":" and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Smothering Tithe"}},{"insert":" ) mana costs for their spells anyway, the deck runs some control staples -- mainly board wipes and exile removal in white, counterspells in blue, as well as a copy of "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Armageddon"}},{"insert":" to hopefully draw only once my friends are thoroughly convinced it's not THAT kind of control deck. Also, it runs "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Drannith Magistrate"}},{"insert":" . It's called Commander, not Commanders, sorry.\n\nThe bulk of the milling is done by -- apart from too-good-not-to-take options like "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Maddening Cacophony"}},{"insert":" -- 23 copies of "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Persistent Petitioners"}},{"insert":" . Say what you want about politicians, but stunlocking the parliament arguably counts as working. What do you mean \"affect the material reality of the people they supposedly represent\"? \n\nIn addition, the deck features some tutors to get your hands on, among many others, "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bruvac the Grandiloquent"}},{"insert":" to get this thing done with already, or the statistically-unlikely-to-work non-deterministic softcombo (I do hope they give out a consolation price for \"least pleasant to read sequence of three back-to-back compound words\") with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Thrumming Stone"}},{"insert":" . I could have simply included more than 25 petitioners, so you're more likely to hit one every loop, but I wanted to include some recursion so you can barely mill yourself in absence of better things to do, and some graveyard hate, because there's no point putting things in my opponents' graveyards if that's where they want them. \n\nAll in all, the deck comes out to 27 advisors, but zero people with an actual ability nor permission to act; a salt score of 84.16, which is significantly higher than the average IQ yet significantly lower than the average heart rate of a person after 30 minutes of being on the receiving end of the deck; $600 of cards generating $6 worth of type III fun (the one that isn't enjoyable during nor after); and, if everything went according to plan, one reader being subjected to five hundred and seventy-six (576) words about a deck they have no interest in being on either end of.\n"}]}
2
{"ops":[{"insert":"\"It's called Commander, not Commanders, sorry.\" - genuine LOL\n"}]}
1
{"ops":[{"insert":"https://archidekt.com/decks/9088314/stalemate\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Stalemate"},{"insert":" Featuring "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Tameshi, Reality Architect"},{"insert":". Its goal is not to win, it is to either end in a draw, or ask the other players "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"\"Do you concede?\""},{"insert":"\n\nIt uses potent value pieces in Blue and White to accrue vastly more resources than opponents, then will do things like end the game in a draw with "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Divine Intervention"},{"insert":", bring a halt to game actions with "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Decree of Silence, "},{"insert":"or "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"(my personal favorite)"},{"insert":" use "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Hive Mind"},{"insert":" to force opponents to cast the spells with the "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"\"Epic\" "},{"insert":"keyword so they can no longer play their gameplan, while yours unfolds as intended. \n\nI even threw in a little package of cards to nullify commanders, so nothing can stand in your path of non-victory. \n"}]}
Edited 9/6/2024, 3:36:52 PM
2