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Couch Potato
Flying When Ethereal Investigator enters the battlefield, investigate X times, where X is the number of opponents you have. (To investigate, create a Clue token. It's an artifact with "{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.") Whenever you draw your second card each turn, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
Creature
Draw
{1}, {T}: Draw two cards, then discard a card. Create a 1/1 colorless Pilot creature token with "This creature crews Vehicles as though its power were 2 greater." Crew 8 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 8 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.) Shorikai, Genesis Engine can be your commander.
I don't wanna
Land
Off the couch
Flying, myriad Whenever Battle Angels of Tyr deals combat damage to a player, draw a card if that player has more cards in hand than each other player. Then you create a Treasure token if that player controls more lands than each other player. Then you gain 3 life if that player has more life than each other player.
Creatures you control have myriad. (Whenever a creature with myriad attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token that's a copy of that creature that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)
Ramp
Burakos, Party Leader is also a Cleric, Rogue, Warrior, and Wizard. Whenever Burakos attacks, defending player loses X life and you create X Treasure tokens, where X is the number of creatures in your party. Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)
{T}: Add {B}. Whenever a creature you control dies, put a corpse counter on Crowded Crypt. {4}{B}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Crowded Crypt: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed for each corpse counter on Crowded Crypt. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)
Flying Whenever one or more Pirates you control deal damage to your opponents, you create a Treasure token for each opponent dealt damage. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.") Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)
{T}: Add one mana of any color. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a night counter on Replicating Ring. Then if it has eight or more night counters on it, remove all of them and create eight colorless snow artifact tokens named Replicated Ring with "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
When Thieves' Tools enters the battlefield, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.") Equipped creature can't be blocked as long as its power is 3 or less. Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Removal
When Citizen's Crowbar enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green and white Citizen creature token, then attach Citizen's Crowbar to it. Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has "{W}, {T}, Sacrifice Citizen's Crowbar: Destroy target artifact or enchantment." Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)
Squad {2} (As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may pay {2} any number of times. When this creature enters the battlefield, create that many tokens that are copies of it.) Grav-cannon — When Space Marine Devastator enters the battlefield, destroy up to one target artifact or enchantment.
Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both. • Each opponent sacrifices a creature they control with the greatest power. • Exile all opponents' graveyards, then create X 0/1 black Thrull creature tokens, where X is the greatest power among creature cards exiled this way.
Maybeboard
At the beginning of your precombat main phase, choose one or more — • Sell Contraband — Create a Treasure token. You lose 1 life. • Buy Information — Draw a card. You lose 2 life. • Hire a Mercenary — Create a 3/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. You lose 3 life. (It has every creature type.)
Whenever you discard a card, you may exile that card from your graveyard. {2}, {T}: Draw a card, then discard a card. {T}: Put a card exiled with Currency Converter into your graveyard. If it's a land card, create a Treasure token. If it's a nonland card, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token.
When Defenders of Humanity enters the battlefield, create X 2/2 white Astartes Warrior creature tokens with vigilance. {X}{2}{W}, Exile Defenders of Humanity: Create X 2/2 white Astartes Warrior creature tokens with vigilance. Activate only if you control no creatures and only during your turn.
Flying, first strike, vigilance Whenever Parhelion II attacks, create two 4/4 white Angel creature tokens with flying and vigilance that are attacking. Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
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