2k
4/23/2024
Gluntchflation: War Profiteering Edition
Deck Size: 100
Commander / EDH
Legal
Est deck cost: $382.48
Salt Sum: 30.56
2k
4/23/2024
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Commander

Quantity: 1Price: $0.49
Gluntch, the Bestower

Flying At the beginning of your end step, choose a player. They put two +1/+1 counters on a creature they control. Choose a second player to draw a card. Then choose a third player to create two Treasure tokens.

Creature
Gluntch, the Bestower (clb) 422
1

Artifact

Quantity: 17Price: $121.33
Chimil, the Inner Sun

Spells you control can't be countered. At the beginning of your end step, discover 5. (Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with mana value 5 or less. Cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Artifact
Chimil, the Inner Sun (plci) 249p
1
Clock of Omens

Tap two untapped artifacts you control: Untap target artifact.

Artifact
Clock of Omens (m13) 202
1
Decanter of Endless Water

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Decanter of Endless Water (clb) 309
1
Font of Mythos

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws two additional cards.

Artifact
Font of Mythos (con) 136
1
Geth's Grimoire

Whenever an opponent discards a card, you may draw a card.

Artifact
Geth's Grimoire (dst) 123
1
Horn of Greed

Whenever a player plays a land, that player draws a card.

Artifact
Horn of Greed (cn2) 211
1
Howling Mine

At the beginning of each player's draw step, if Howling Mine is untapped, that player draws an additional card.

Artifact
Howling Mine (brr) 20
1
Iron Maiden

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, Iron Maiden deals X damage to that player, where X is the number of cards in their hand minus 4.

Artifact
Iron Maiden (ulg) 127
1
Lithoform Engine

{2}, {T}: Copy target activated or triggered ability you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. {3}, {T}: Copy target instant or sorcery spell you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. {4}, {T}: Copy target permanent spell you control. (The copy becomes a token.)

Artifact
Lithoform Engine (brc) 146
1
Mirrorworks

Whenever another nontoken artifact enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay {2}. If you do, create a token that's a copy of that artifact.

Artifact
Mirrorworks (brc) 149
1
Otherworld Atlas

{T}: Put a charge counter on Otherworld Atlas. {T}: Each player draws a card for each charge counter on Otherworld Atlas.

Artifact
Otherworld Atlas (avr) 219
1
Strionic Resonator

{2}, {T}: Copy target triggered ability you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. (A triggered ability uses the words "when," "whenever," or "at.")

Artifact
Strionic Resonator (moc) 384
1
Sword of War and Peace

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from white. Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, Sword of War and Peace deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in their hand and you gain 1 life for each card in your hand. Equip {2}

Artifact
Sword of War and Peace (2xm) 300
1
Temple Bell

{T}: Each player draws a card.

Artifact
Temple Bell (c16) 277
1
Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Artifact
Thought Vessel (scd) 285
1
Venser's Journal

You have no maximum hand size. At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 1 life for each card in your hand.

Artifact
Venser's Journal (c21) 273
1
Wedding Ring

When Wedding Ring enters the battlefield, if it was cast, target opponent creates a token that's a copy of it. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring draws a card during their turn, you draw a card. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring gains life during their turn, you gain that much life.

Artifact
Wedding Ring (voc) 32
1

Creature

Quantity: 21Price: $81.15
Academy Manufactor

If you would create a Clue, Food, or Treasure token, instead create one of each.

Creature Artifact
Academy Manufactor (moc) 346
1
Baldin, Century Herdmaster

As long as it's your turn, each creature assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power. Whenever Baldin, Century Herdmaster attacks, up to one hundred target creatures each get +0/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.

Creature
Baldin, Century Herdmaster (slx) 10
1
Boromir, Warden of the Tower

Vigilance Whenever an opponent casts a spell, if no mana was spent to cast it, counter that spell. Sacrifice Boromir, Warden of the Tower: Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn. The Ring tempts you.

Creature
Boromir, Warden of the Tower (ltr) 4
1
Champions of Minas Tirith

When Champions of Minas Tirith enters the battlefield, you become the monarch. At the beginning of combat on each opponent's turn, if you're the monarch, that opponent may pay {X}, where X is the number of cards in their hand. If they don't, they can't attack you this combat.

Creature
Champions of Minas Tirith (ltc) 94
1
Flumph

Defender, flying Whenever Flumph is dealt damage, you and target opponent each draw a card.

Creature
Flumph (afr) 15
1
Heartwood Storyteller

Whenever a player casts a noncreature spell, each of that player's opponents may draw a card.

Creature
Heartwood Storyteller (tsr) 209
1
Howling Golem

Whenever Howling Golem attacks or blocks, each player draws a card.

Creature Artifact
Howling Golem (cmr) 316
1
Jaheira, Friend of the Forest

Tokens you control have "{T}: Add {G}." Choose a Background (You can have a Background as a second commander.)

Creature
Jaheira, Friend of the Forest (clb) 237
1
Jolrael, Mwonvuli Recluse

Whenever you draw your second card each turn, create a 2/2 green Cat creature token. {4}{G}{G}: Until end of turn, creatures you control have base power and toughness X/X, where X is the number of cards in your hand.

Creature
Jolrael, Mwonvuli Recluse (cmm) 299
1
Master of Ceremonies

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent chooses money, friends, or secrets. For each player who chose money, you and that player each create a Treasure token. For each player who chose friends, you and that player each create a 1/1 green and white Citizen creature token. For each player who chose secrets, you and that player each draw a card.

Creature
Master of Ceremonies (ncc) 18
1
Nils, Discipline Enforcer

At the beginning of your end step, for each player, put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target creature that player controls. Each creature with one or more counters on it can't attack you or planeswalkers you control unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of counters on that creature.

Creature
Nils, Discipline Enforcer (c21) 20
1
Psychosis Crawler

Psychosis Crawler's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. Whenever you draw a card, each opponent loses 1 life.

Creature Artifact
Psychosis Crawler (moc) 371
1
Regal Behemoth

Trample When Regal Behemoth enters the battlefield, you become the monarch. Whenever you tap a land for mana while you're the monarch, add an additional one mana of any color.

Creature
Regal Behemoth (cmm) 316
1
Roaming Throne

Ward {2} As Roaming Throne enters the battlefield, choose a creature type. Roaming Throne is the chosen type in addition to its other types. If a triggered ability of another creature you control of the chosen type triggers, it triggers an additional time.

Creature Artifact
Roaming Throne (lci) 344
1
Selfless Squire

Flash When Selfless Squire enters the battlefield, prevent all damage that would be dealt to you this turn. Whenever damage that would be dealt to you is prevented, put that many +1/+1 counters on Selfless Squire.

Creature
Selfless Squire (c21) 103
1
Selvala, Explorer Returned

Parley — {T}: Each player reveals the top card of their library. For each nonland card revealed this way, add {G} and you gain 1 life. Then each player draws a card.

Creature
Selvala, Explorer Returned (dmc) 167
1
Sergeant John Benton

Trample, haste Share Intelligence — Whenever Sergeant John Benton deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each draw that many cards.

Creature
Sergeant John Benton (who) 441
1
Shalai, Voice of Plenty

Flying You, planeswalkers you control, and other creatures you control have hexproof. {4}{G}{G}: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.

Creature
Shalai, Voice of Plenty (dom) 35
1
Sigarda, Font of Blessings

Flying Other permanents you control have hexproof. You may look at the top card of your library any time. You may cast Angel spells and Human spells from the top of your library.

Creature
Sigarda, Font of Blessings (mat) 47
1
Spore Frog

Sacrifice Spore Frog: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn.

Creature
Spore Frog (mh1) 180
1
Zenith Chronicler

Whenever a player casts their first multicolored spell each turn, each other player draws a card.

Creature Artifact
Zenith Chronicler (one) 246
1

Enchantment

Quantity: 7Price: $76.93
Anointed Procession

If an effect would create one or more tokens under your control, it creates twice that many of those tokens instead.

Enchantment
Anointed Procession (akh) 2
1
Primal Vigor

If one or more tokens would be created, twice that many of those tokens are created instead. If one or more +1/+1 counters would be put on a creature, twice that many +1/+1 counters are put on that creature instead.

Enchantment
Primal Vigor (wot) 59
1
Rites of Flourishing

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card. Each player may play an additional land on each of their turns.

Enchantment
Rites of Flourishing (znc) 80
1
Smuggler's Share

At the beginning of each end step, draw a card for each opponent who drew two or more cards this turn, then create a Treasure token for each opponent who had two or more lands enter the battlefield under their control this turn.

Enchantment
Smuggler's Share (ncc) 21
1
Solitary Confinement

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Solitary Confinement unless you discard a card. Skip your draw step. You have shroud. (You can't be the target of spells or abilities.) Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you.

Enchantment
Solitary Confinement (mh2) 265
1
Tenuous Truce

Enchant opponent At the beginning of enchanted opponent's end step, you and that player each draw a card. When you attack enchanted opponent or a planeswalker they control or when they attack you or a planeswalker you control, sacrifice Tenuous Truce.

Enchantment
Tenuous Truce (ncc) 87
1
Wolfcaller's Howl

At the beginning of your upkeep, create X 2/2 green Wolf creature tokens, where X is the number of your opponents with four or more cards in hand.

Enchantment
Wolfcaller's Howl (cma) 169
1

Instant

Quantity: 16Price: $39.98
Arachnogenesis

Create X 1/2 green Spider creature tokens with reach, where X is the number of creatures attacking you. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn by non-Spider creatures.

Instant
Arachnogenesis (cmm) 272
1
Comeuppance

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and planeswalkers you control this turn by sources you don't control. If damage from a creature source is prevented this way, Comeuppance deals that much damage to that creature. If damage from a noncreature source is prevented this way, Comeuppance deals that much damage to the source's controller.

Instant
Comeuppance (c14) 4
1
Faith's Reward

Return to the battlefield all permanent cards in your graveyard that were put there from the battlefield this turn.

Instant
Faith's Reward (cn2) 84
1
Galadhrim Ambush

Create X 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature tokens, where X is the number of attacking creatures. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn by non-Elf creatures.

Instant
Galadhrim Ambush (ltc) 440
1
Inner Calm, Outer Strength

Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.

Instant
Inner Calm, Outer Strength (sok) 133
1
Intervention Pact

The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way. At the beginning of your next upkeep, pay {1}{W}{W}. If you don't, you lose the game.

Instant
Intervention Pact (fut) 8
1
Jaheira's Respite

Search your library for up to X basic land cards, where X is the number of creatures attacking you, put those cards onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn.

Instant
Jaheira's Respite (clb) 238
1
Oblation

The owner of target nonland permanent shuffles it into their library, then draws two cards.

Instant
Oblation (c21) 97
1
Rebuff the Wicked

Counter target spell that targets a permanent you control.

Instant
Rebuff the Wicked (tsr) 35
1
Reprieve

Return target spell to its owner's hand. Draw a card.

Instant
Reprieve (ltr) 26
1
Riot Control

You gain 1 life for each creature your opponents control. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you this turn.

Instant
Riot Control (dgm) 6
1
Storm Seeker

Storm Seeker deals damage to target player equal to the number of cards in that player's hand.

Instant
Storm Seeker (chr) 70
1
Stroke of Midnight

Destroy target nonland permanent. Its controller creates a 1/1 white Human creature token.

Instant
Stroke of Midnight (woe) 33
1
Tamiyo's Safekeeping

Target permanent you control gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn. You gain 2 life. (A permanent with hexproof and indestructible can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)

Instant
Tamiyo's Safekeeping (neo) 211
1
Valorous Stance

Choose one — • Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.) • Destroy target creature with toughness 4 or greater.

Instant
Valorous Stance (j22) 59
1
Your Temple Is Under Attack

Choose one — • Pray for Protection — Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn. • Strike a Deal — You and target opponent each draw two cards.

Instant
Your Temple Is Under Attack (clb) 52
1

Land

Quantity: 32Price: $54.10
Brushland

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {G} or {W}. Brushland deals 1 damage to you.

Land
Brushland (bro) 259
1
Canopy Vista

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.) Canopy Vista enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Land
Canopy Vista (mkc) 252
1
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (plst) CMD-269
1
Forest

({T}: Add {G}.)

Land
Forest (unf) 239
8
Fortified Village

As Fortified Village enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Forest or Plains card from your hand. If you don't, Fortified Village enters the battlefield tapped. {T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Land
Fortified Village (moc) 401
1
Graypelt Refuge

Graypelt Refuge enters the battlefield tapped. When Graypelt Refuge enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Land
Graypelt Refuge (scd) 303
1
Maze of Ith

{T}: Untap target attacking creature. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by that creature this turn.

Land
Maze of Ith (dmr) 250
1
Mikokoro, Center of the Sea

{T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}: Each player draws a card.

Land
Mikokoro, Center of the Sea (dmc) 217
1
Minas Tirith

Minas Tirith enters the battlefield tapped unless you control a legendary creature. {T}: Add {W}. {1}{W}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you attacked with two or more creatures this turn.

Land
Minas Tirith (ltr) 420
1
Plains

({T}: Add {W}.)

Land
Plains (unf) 235
9
Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Land
Reliquary Tower (brc) 196
1
Selesnya Sanctuary

Selesnya Sanctuary enters the battlefield tapped. When Selesnya Sanctuary enters the battlefield, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {G}{W}.

Land
Selesnya Sanctuary (clu) 246
1
Sungrass Prairie

{1}, {T}: Add {G}{W}.

Land
Sungrass Prairie (mkc) 297
1
Temple of Plenty

Temple of Plenty enters the battlefield tapped. When Temple of Plenty enters the battlefield, scry 1. {T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Land
Temple of Plenty (mkc) 304
1
The Grey Havens

When The Grey Havens enters the battlefield, scry 1. {T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add one mana of any color among legendary creature cards in your graveyard.

Land
The Grey Havens (ltr) 443
1
The Mycosynth Gardens

{T}: Add {C}. {1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color. {X}, {T}: The Mycosynth Gardens becomes a copy of target nontoken artifact you control with mana value X.

Land
The Mycosynth Gardens (one) 256
1
Thespian's Stage

{T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}: Thespian's Stage becomes a copy of target land, except it has this ability.

Land
Thespian's Stage (2xm) 327
1

Planeswalker

Quantity: 1Price: $4.49
Ugin, the Ineffable

Colorless spells you cast cost {2} less to cast. +1: Exile the top card of your library face down and look at it. Create a 2/2 colorless Spirit creature token. When that token leaves the battlefield, put the exiled card into your hand. −3: Destroy target permanent that's one or more colors.

Planeswalker
Ugin, the Ineffable (war) 2
1

Sorcery

Quantity: 5Price: $4.01
Cut a Deal

Each opponent draws a card, then you draw a card for each opponent who drew a card this way.

Sorcery
Cut a Deal (onc) 63
1
Fell the Mighty

Destroy all creatures with power greater than target creature's power.

Sorcery
Fell the Mighty (moc) 185
1
Secret Rendezvous

You and target opponent each draw three cards.

Sorcery
Secret Rendezvous (stx) 26
1
Slaughter the Strong

Each player chooses any number of creatures they control with total power 4 or less, then sacrifices all other creatures they control.

Sorcery
Slaughter the Strong (cmr) 48
1
The Battle of Bywater

Destroy all creatures with power 3 or greater. Then create a Food token for each creature you control. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Sorcery
The Battle of Bywater (ltr) 2
1

Maybeboard

Quantity: 15Price: $168.41
Alhammarret's Archive

If you would gain life, you gain twice that much life instead. If you would draw a card except the first one you draw in each of your draw steps, draw two cards instead.

Artifact
Alhammarret's Archive (c21) 233
1
Constant Mists

Buyback—Sacrifice a land. (You may sacrifice a land in addition to any other costs as you cast this spell. If you do, put this card into your hand as it resolves.) Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn.

Instant
Constant Mists (sth) 104
1
Endbringer

Untap Endbringer during each other player's untap step. {T}: Endbringer deals 1 damage to any target. {C}, {T}: Target creature can't attack or block this turn. {C}{C}, {T}: Draw a card.

Creature
Endbringer (cmm) 803
1
Helm of the Host

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary. That token gains haste. Equip {5}

Artifact
Helm of the Host (plst) DOM-217
1
Horn of Plenty

Whenever a player casts a spell, they may pay {1}. If the player does, they draw a card at the beginning of the next end step.

Artifact
Horn of Plenty (mmq) 298
1
Krark-Clan Ironworks

Sacrifice an artifact: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Krark-Clan Ironworks (5dn) 134
1
Magistrate's Scepter

{4}, {T}: Put a charge counter on Magistrate's Scepter. {T}, Remove three charge counters from Magistrate's Scepter: Take an extra turn after this one.

Artifact
Magistrate's Scepter (m19) 238
1
On the Trail

Whenever you draw your second card each turn, you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped.

Enchantment
On the Trail (mkc) 39
1
Sculpting Steel

You may have Sculpting Steel enter the battlefield as a copy of any artifact on the battlefield.

Artifact
Sculpting Steel (moc) 374
1
Skullwinder

Deathtouch When Skullwinder enters the battlefield, return target card from your graveyard to your hand, then choose an opponent. That player returns a card from their graveyard to their hand.

Creature
Skullwinder (clb) 256
1
Smothering Tithe

Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player may pay {2}. If the player doesn't, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Enchantment
Smothering Tithe (cmm) 57
1
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (cmm) 410
1
Tempting Contract

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent may create a Treasure token. For each opponent who does, you create a Treasure token.

Artifact
Tempting Contract (c21) 78
1
Trouble in Pairs

If an opponent would begin an extra turn, that player skips that turn instead. Whenever an opponent attacks you with two or more creatures, draws their second card each turn, or casts their second spell each turn, you draw a card.

Enchantment
Trouble in Pairs (mkc) 15
1
Unwinding Clock

Untap all artifacts you control during each other player's untap step.

Artifact
Unwinding Clock (plst) NPH-164
1

Deck Stats

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Description

{"ops":[{"insert":"\"War is hugely profitable. It creates so much money because it's so easy to spend money very fast.\" -Roger Waters\n\nWelcome potential shareholders to Operation: PROFIT! Here at Gluntch LLC our mission statement is to fund not just the "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Gishath, Sun's Avatar"}},{"insert":" that someone played but also the "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Counterspell"}},{"insert":" that countered it! Because of this we created PROFIT to provide you with the latest in next-gen war profiteering! Please read below to find out if investing in Gluntch LLC is right for you!\n\n-PROFIT-\nP: Purchase business partners! -Pay people to avoid them swinging at you with things like "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Tenuous Truce"}},{"insert":" and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Secret Rendezvous"}},{"insert":"!\nR: Reallocate funds for outsourcing! -Outsource dealing damage to competitors by investing in business partners to do it for you!\nO: Outlast the competition! -Use cards like "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Arachnogenesis"}},{"insert":" and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Comeuppance"}},{"insert":" to survive big damage and punish violent aggressors!\nF: Forecast potential investments! -Utilize card draw to find big damage for later like "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Inner Calm, Outer Strength"}},{"insert":" or ~THE GLUNTCHSHOT~!\nI: Insure regional assets! -Protect yourself and trade partners by removing wincons with cards like "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Play of the Game"}},{"insert":" or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Stroke of Midnight"}},{"insert":"!\nT: Terminate contracts! -Once local health stockpiles are low utilize stockpiled assets to buyout the remainder of our opponents health!\n\n\n\nBusiness Inquiries:\n\nQ: How consistently do you win?\nA: You don't usually. But occasionally you hit a very spicy "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Storm Seeker"}},{"insert":" or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Baldin, Century Herdmaster"}},{"insert":" . \n\nQ: What is ~THE GLUNTCHSHOT~?\nA: Using "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Lithoform Engine"}},{"insert":" +"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Clock of Omens"}},{"insert":" + any token doubler we can copy the "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Gluntch, the Bestower"}},{"insert":" trigger infinitely! This allows us to draw out our opponents. Token doublers can be "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Academy Manufactor"}},{"insert":" "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Primal Vigor"}},{"insert":" or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Anointed Procession"}},{"insert":" . (Do note this will no longer work if only have one opponent left at the beginning of your end step since you will be unable to select yourself for the treasure option)\n\nQ: How do I choose my business partners?\nA: Usually by turn three when you have Gluntch out you should have a clear picture of who's deck is the biggest threat. I usually try and establish a partnership with the player struggling the most. First, this ensures that they remain a threat in the game for other people to throw removal at and second landscrewed players will make increadible deals for treasures. \n\nQ: Any pitfalls to avoid?\nA: Protect your combo pieces and don't be afraid to hold cards in hand to save for responses. Also never partner with the guy playing his $3k CEDH equipment deck at Friday night magic, he is not there to have fun he is there for a second far more sinister reason.\n\nQ: Wouldn't this win much more often with stax pieces?\nA: Yes but Gluntch is a happy boi not a staxy boi. Plus no one wants to play with a stax player much less politic with them.\n\nQ: What mindset should you have when playing this deck?\nA: Become Nicholas Cage in the 2005 film Lord of War. Give plentiful arms and ammunition to the struggling precon deck player and witness as they smack the primary threat out of the game for you because you made their Elvish Mystic a 11/11 on turn 5.\n\nQ: If people don't politic with you don't you just die?\nA: \"When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. But you don't get a win unless you play in the game.\" -Alexander Hamilton\n\n\n"}]}
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