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Commander
Deathtouch Whenever a Curse is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, return it to the battlefield attached to you at the beginning of the next end step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may attach a Curse attached to you to one of your opponents. If you do, draw two cards.
Fuck Black
Fuck White
Fuck green
Enchant player At the beginning of enchanted player's upkeep, that player reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a creature card. Put that card onto the battlefield under your control. That player puts the rest of the revealed cards into their graveyard.
Fuck you
Enchant player Creatures attacking enchanted player have trample. Whenever a creature deals combat damage to enchanted player, that player exiles the top card of their library. Until end of turn, that creature's controller may play that card and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell.
Xantcha, Sleeper Agent enters the battlefield under the control of an opponent of your choice. Xantcha attacks each combat if able and can't attack its owner or planeswalkers its owner controls. {3}: Xantcha's controller loses 2 life and you draw a card. Any player may activate this ability.
Manashit
fuck blue
get that shit out
When Cacophony Unleashed enters the battlefield, if you cast it, destroy all nonenchantment creatures. Whenever Cacophony Unleashed or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, until end of turn, Cacophony Unleashed becomes a legendary 6/6 Nightmare God creature with menace and deathtouch. It's still an enchantment.
in fucking hand now
keeping shit
Callaphe's power is equal to your devotion to blue. (Each {U} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to blue.) Creatures and enchantments you control have "Spells your opponents cast that target this permanent cost {1} more to cast."
less important manashit
Flying, trample Once during each of your turns, you may cast an enchantment spell by paying life equal to its mana value rather than paying its mana cost. {2}{B}, Sacrifice another enchantment: Demon of Fate's Design gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the sacrificed enchantment's mana value.
you bitch
Captive Audience enters the battlefield under the control of an opponent of your choice. At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one that hasn't been chosen — • Your life total becomes 4. • Discard your hand. • Each opponent creates five 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens.