Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Cleansing Wildfire

Destroy target land. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Draw a card.

Heartless Hidetsugu

{T}: Heartless Hidetsugu deals damage to each player equal to half that player's life total, rounded down.

Koth, Fire of Resistance

+2: Search your library for a basic Mountain card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
−3: Koth, Fire of Resistance deals damage to target creature equal to the number of Mountains you control.
−7: You get an emblem with "Whenever a Mountain enters the battlefield under your control, this emblem deals 4 damage to any target."

Impending Disaster

At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are seven or more lands on the battlefield, sacrifice Impending Disaster and destroy all lands.

Dingus Egg

Whenever a land is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, Dingus Egg deals 2 damage to that land's controller.

Blood Moon

Koth of the Hammer

+1: Untap target Mountain. It becomes a 4/4 red Elemental creature until end of turn. It's still a land.
−2: Add {R} for each Mountain you control.
−5: You get an emblem with "Mountains you control have '{T}: This land deals 1 damage to any target.'"

Sol Ring

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Obsidian Fireheart

{1}{R}{R}: Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn after Obsidian Fireheart has left the battlefield.)

From the Ashes

Destroy all nonbasic lands. For each land destroyed this way, its controller may search their library for a basic land card and put it onto the battlefield. Then each player who searched their library this way shuffles.

Tectonic Break

Spiteful Banditry

When Spiteful Banditry enters the battlefield, it deals X damage to each creature.
Whenever one or more creatures your opponents control die, you create a Treasure token. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Neheb, the Eternal

Afflict 3 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses 3 life.)
At the beginning of your postcombat main phase, add {R} for each 1 life your opponents have lost this turn.

Embermaw Hellion

Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)
If another red source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 1 to that permanent or player instead.

Ankh of Mishra

Whenever a land enters the battlefield, Ankh of Mishra deals 2 damage to that land's controller.

Wild Magic Surge

Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Treasure Nabber

Whenever an opponent taps an artifact for mana, gain control of that artifact until the end of your next turn.

Solphim, Mayhem Dominus

If a source you control would deal noncombat damage to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, it deals double that damage to that player or permanent instead.
{1}{R/P}{R/P}, Discard two cards: Put an indestructible counter on Solphim, Mayhem Dominus. ({R/P} can be paid with either {R} or 2 life.)

Epicenter

Target player sacrifices a land.
Threshold — Each player sacrifices all lands they control instead if seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Rug of Smothering

Flying
Whenever a player casts a spell, they lose 1 life for each spell they've cast this turn.

Worldfire

Exile all permanents. Exile all cards from all hands and graveyards. Each player's life total becomes 1.

Cemetery Gatekeeper

First strike
When Cemetery Gatekeeper enters the battlefield, exile a card from a graveyard.
Whenever a player plays a land or casts a spell, if it shares a card type with the exiled card, Cemetery Gatekeeper deals 2 damage to that player.

Twinflame

Strive — This spell costs {2}{R} more to cast for each target beyond the first.
Choose any number of target creatures you control. For each of them, create a token that's a copy of that creature, except it has haste. Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step.

Shatterstorm

Destroy all artifacts. They can't be regenerated.

Stoneshaker Shaman

At the beginning of each player's end step, that player sacrifices an untapped land.

Bend or Break

Each player separates all nontoken lands they control into two piles. For each player, one of their piles is chosen by one of their opponents of their choice. Destroy all lands in the chosen piles. Tap all lands in the other piles.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Zo-Zu the Punisher

Whenever a land enters the battlefield, Zo-Zu the Punisher deals 2 damage to that land's controller.

Eidolon of the Great Revel

Whenever a player casts a spell with mana value 3 or less, Eidolon of the Great Revel deals 2 damage to that player.

Ruination

Dualcaster Mage

Flash
When Dualcaster Mage enters the battlefield, copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Rampaging Ferocidon

Menace
Players can't gain life.
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, Rampaging Ferocidon deals 1 damage to that creature's controller.

Decree of Annihilation

Exile all artifacts, creatures, and lands from the battlefield, all cards from all graveyards, and all cards from all hands.
Cycling {5}{R}{R} ({5}{R}{R}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
When you cycle Decree of Annihilation, destroy all lands.

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Reckless Handling

Search your library for an artifact card, reveal it, put it into your hand, shuffle, then discard a card at random. If an artifact card was discarded this way, Reckless Handling deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Tremble

Jokulhaups

Destroy all artifacts, creatures, and lands. They can't be regenerated.

Tectonic Instability

Whenever a land enters the battlefield, tap all lands its controller controls.

Akki Blizzard-Herder

When Akki Blizzard-Herder dies, each player sacrifices a land.

Sulfuric Vortex

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, Sulfuric Vortex deals 2 damage to that player.
If a player would gain life, that player gains no life instead.

War's Toll

Whenever an opponent taps a land for mana, tap all lands that player controls.
If a creature an opponent controls attacks, all creatures that opponent controls attack if able.

Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

If a red source you control would deal damage to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, it deals that much damage plus 2 instead.

Tunnel Ignus

Whenever a land enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, if that player had another land enter the battlefield under their control this turn, Tunnel Ignus deals 3 damage to that player.

Manabarbs

Whenever a player taps a land for mana, Manabarbs deals 1 damage to that player.

Pyretic Ritual

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Roaming Throne

Ward {2}
As Roaming Throne enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Roaming Throne is the chosen type in addition to its other types.
If a triggered ability of another creature you control of the chosen type triggers, it triggers an additional time.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Invader Parasite

Imprint — When Invader Parasite enters the battlefield, exile target land.
Whenever a land with the same name as the exiled card enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, Invader Parasite deals 2 damage to that player.

Detritivore

Detritivore's power and toughness are each equal to the number of nonbasic land cards in your opponents' graveyards.
Suspend X—{X}{3}{R}. X can't be 0. (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay {X}{3}{R} and exile it with X time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. It has haste.)
Whenever a time counter is removed from Detritivore while it's exiled, destroy target nonbasic land.

Fanatic of Mogis

When Fanatic of Mogis enters the battlefield, it deals damage to each opponent equal to your devotion to red. (Each {R} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to red.)

Krenko's Buzzcrusher

Flying, trample
When Krenko's Buzzcrusher enters the battlefield, for each player, destroy up to one nonbasic land that player controls. For each land destroyed this way, its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Mountain

Thoughts of Ruin

Each player sacrifices a land for each card in your hand.

Mana Geyser

Add {R} for each tapped land your opponents control.

Chandra, Torch of Defiance

+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may cast that card. If you don't, Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 2 damage to each opponent.
+1: Add {R}{R}.
−3: Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 4 damage to target creature.
−7: You get an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell, this emblem deals 5 damage to any target."

Enchanter's Bane

At the beginning of your end step, target enchantment deals damage equal to its mana value to its controller unless that player sacrifices it.

Temple of Power

(Transforms from Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might.)
{T}: Add {R}.
{2}{R}, {T}: Transform Temple of Power. Activate only if red sources you controlled dealt 4 or more noncombat damage this turn and only as a sorcery.

Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might

Trample
If a red source you control would deal an amount of noncombat damage less than Ojer Axonil's power to an opponent, that source deals damage equal to Ojer Axonil's power instead.
When Ojer Axonil dies, return it to the battlefield tapped and transformed under its owner's control.