Don't Have

Black Lotus

{T}, Sacrifice Black Lotus: Add three mana of any one color.

Getting

Farewell to Arms

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Have

Braids, Cabal Minion

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices an artifact, creature, or land.

Opening Ceremony

Add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}{C}. You may open a sealed Magic booster pack. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among the cards in that booster pack.

Golos, Tireless Pilgrim

When Golos, Tireless Pilgrim enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
{2}{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}: Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn without paying their mana costs.

Sunimret

Reverse miracle {B} (If this card is on the bottom of your library as you begin searching it, you may cast it by paying its reverse miracle cost.)
Exile all creatures.

Mine, Mine, Mine!

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters the battlefield, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Karakas

{T}: Add {W}.
{T}: Return target legendary creature to its owner's hand.

Hullbreacher

Flash
If an opponent would draw a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, instead you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Knife and Death

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

Fastbond

You may play any number of lands on each of your turns.
Whenever you play a land, if it wasn't the first land you played this turn, Fastbond deals 1 damage to you.

Sarah's Wings

Target creature or player gains flying until end of turn. (Players with flying can't be dealt damage by creatures without flying.)

Erayo's Essence

Whenever an opponent casts their first spell each turn, counter that spell.

Erayo, Soratami Ascendant

Flying
Whenever the fourth spell of a turn is cast, flip Erayo, Soratami Ascendant.

Erayo, Soratami Ascendant // Erayo's Essence

Balance

Each player chooses a number of lands they control equal to the number of lands controlled by the player who controls the fewest, then sacrifices the rest. Players discard cards and sacrifice creatures the same way.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Biorhythm

Each player's life total becomes the number of creatures they control.

Chaos Orb

{1}, {T}: If Chaos Orb is on the battlefield, flip Chaos Orb onto the battlefield from a height of at least one foot. If Chaos Orb turns over completely at least once during the flip, destroy all nontoken permanents it touches. Then destroy Chaos Orb.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Noxious Bayou

{T}: Add {B} or {G}. You get a poison counter.

Mox Pearl

Flash

You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield. If you do, sacrifice it unless you pay its mana cost reduced by up to {2}.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Time Vault

Time Vault enters the battlefield tapped.
Time Vault doesn't untap during your untap step.
If you would begin your turn while Time Vault is tapped, you may skip that turn instead. If you do, untap Time Vault.
{T}: Take an extra turn after this one.

City of Ass

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

The Grand Tour

Exile target permanent, then put it into its owner's hand. That player discards that card, then puts it on top of their library. Then they put it onto the battlefield.

Infinity Elemental

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Emrakul, the Aeons Torn

This spell can't be countered.
When you cast this spell, take an extra turn after this one.
Flying, protection from spells that are one or more colors, annihilator 6
When Emrakul, the Aeons Torn is put into a graveyard from anywhere, its owner shuffles their graveyard into their library.

Stack of Paperwork

When Stack of Paperwork enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Combat damage uses the stack. (Combat damage assignment can be responded to before damage is dealt.)

Tolarian Academy

{T}: Add {U} for each artifact you control.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Mox Sapphire

Trade Secrets

Target opponent draws two cards, then you draw up to four cards. That opponent may repeat this process as many times as they choose.

How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy

Return How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy to its owner's hand.

Season's Beatings

Family gathering — Each creature target player controls deals damage equal to its power to another random creature that player controls.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters the battlefield, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Mox Emerald

Gold Mine

{T}: Add {C}.
Legacy — {T}, Mark one of Gold Mine's unmarked nodes: Add one mana of any color.
☐, ☐, ☐, ☐, ☐

Sway of the Stars

Each player shuffles their hand, graveyard, and all permanents they own into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 7.

Time Walk

Granny's Payback

Maro's Gone Nuts

Double any effect that doubles. (It quadruples.)

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Limited Resources

When Limited Resources enters the battlefield, each player chooses five lands they control and sacrifices the rest.
Players can't play lands as long as ten or more lands are on the battlefield.

Mana Abundance

If a player would add mana, instead all players add that mana.

Channel

Until end of turn, any time you could activate a mana ability, you may pay 1 life. If you do, add {C}.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters the battlefield tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Transcantation

Target instant or sorcery spell becomes a copy of Lightning Bolt. Its controller may choose new targets for it.

Mox Jet

Lutri, the Spellchaser

Companion — Each nonland card in your starting deck has a different name. (If this card is your chosen companion, you may put it into your hand from outside the game for {3} as a sorcery.)
Flash
When Lutri, the Spellchaser enters the battlefield, if you cast it, copy target instant or sorcery spell you control. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Aggressive Crag

At the beginning of your combat step, tap Aggressive Crag.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Sovereign's Realm

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
Your starting deck can't have basic land cards and your starting hand size is five.
Exile a card from your hand: This turn, you may play basic lands from outside the game.
Basic lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."

Rare-B-Gone

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Waste Land

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice Waste Land: Destroy target nonbasic land. That land's controller creates a Wastes token. (It's a land with {T}: Add {C}.)

Griselbrand

Flying, lifelink
Pay 7 life: Draw seven cards.

Paradox Engine

Whenever you cast a spell, untap all nonland permanents you control.

High Troller

All targeted spells and abilities cost {2} less and have their targets chosen randomly.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Upheaval

Return all permanents to their owners' hands.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Panoptic Mirror

Imprint — {X}, {T}: You may exile an instant or sorcery card with mana value X from your hand.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may copy a card exiled with Panoptic Mirror. If you do, you may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Queue of Beetles

Haste
The stack is now first in, first out instead of last in, first out. (The first spell or ability on the stack is the first one to resolve.)

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Mox Ruby

One with Death

Library of Alexandria

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have exactly seven cards in hand.

Falling Star

Flip Falling Star onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Falling Star deals 3 damage to each creature it lands on. Tap all creatures dealt damage by Falling Star. If Falling Star doesn't turn completely over at least once during the flip, it has no effect.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Impatient Iguana

If Impatient Iguana is in your opening hand and you're not the starting player, you may reveal it. If you do, you become the starting player.
Haste

Gifts Ungiven

Search your library for up to four cards with different names and reveal them. Target opponent chooses two of those cards. Put the chosen cards into your graveyard and the rest into your hand. Then shuffle.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Sundering Titan

When Sundering Titan enters or leaves the battlefield, choose a land of each basic land type, then destroy those lands.

Prophet of Kruphix

Untap all creatures and lands you control during each other player's untap step.
You may cast creature spells as though they had flash.

Siege Elemental

Trample
Untapped creatures can't block.
Tapped creatures can block.

Shahrazad

Players play a Magic subgame, using their libraries as their decks. Each player who doesn't win the subgame loses half their life, rounded up.

Coalition Victory

You win the game if you control a land of each basic land type and a creature of each color.

Invoke Prejudice

Whenever an opponent casts a creature spell that doesn't share a color with a creature you control, counter that spell unless that player pays {X}, where X is its mana value.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Bombardment

Until end of turn, cards you own that aren't on the battlefield lose all card types, costs, names, and abilities and become red sorceries named Missile that cost {R} with "Missile deals 2 damage to any target."

Gerrymandering

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

Mirrored Lotus

Reflect {0} (As this enters the battlefield, each opponent may pay {0}. When they do, they create a token copy of this except it lacks this ability.)
{T}, Exile Mirrored Lotus: Add three mana of any one color.

Ancestral Recall

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Yawgmoth's Bargain

Skip your draw step.
Pay 1 life: Draw a card.

Animate Spell

Flash
Enchant instant or sorcery spell on the stack
When Animate Spell becomes attached to an instant or sorcery, put that card onto the battlefield under its owner's control. It's a creature in addition to its other types with power and toughness each equal to its converted mana cost.
When Animate Spell leaves the battlefield, enchanted card's owner sacrifices it unless they cast it.

Tinker

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice an artifact.
Search your library for an artifact card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

It Came from Planet Glurg

You may have It Came from Planet Glurg enter the battlefield as a copy of X different creatures on the battlefield. (It has their total power, total toughness, combined mana costs, all text boxes, names, art, and so on.)

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Wrath of Sod

Put a manabond counter on all creatures. (They lose all other abilities and become lands with "{T}: Add one mana of this card's color.")

Chronobot

When Chronobot enters the battlefield, switch upkeep steps with target opponent for as long as it remains on the battlefield. (You take your upkeep on their turn, and they take their upkeep on your turn.)