Negate

Snooping Newsie

When Snooping Newsie enters the battlefield, mill two cards. (Put the top two cards of your library into your graveyard.)
As long as there are five or more mana values among cards in your graveyard, Snooping Newsie gets +1/+1 and has lifelink.

Tainted Indulgence

Draw two cards. Then discard a card unless there are five or more mana values among cards in your graveyard.

Malevolent Hermit

{U}, Sacrifice Malevolent Hermit: Counter target noncreature spell unless its controller pays {3}.
Disturb {2}{U} (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)

Benevolent Geist

Flying
Noncreature spells you control can't be countered.
If Benevolent Geist would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.

Malevolent Hermit // Benevolent Geist

Takenuma, Abandoned Mire

{T}: Add {B}.
Channel — {3}{B}, Discard Takenuma, Abandoned Mire: Mill three cards, then return a creature or planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.

Consider

Surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)
Draw a card.

Darkslick Shores

Darkslick Shores enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Evangel of Synthesis

When Evangel of Synthesis enters the battlefield, draw a card, then discard a card.
As long as you've drawn two or more cards this turn, Evangel of Synthesis gets +1/+0 and has menace.

Shipwreck Marsh

Shipwreck Marsh enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Ledger Shredder

Flying
Whenever a player casts their second spell each turn, Ledger Shredder connives. (Draw a card, then discard a card. If you discarded a nonland card, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)

Disdainful Stroke

Counter target spell with mana value 4 or greater.

Swamp

Island

Sheoldred's Edict

Choose one —
• Each opponent sacrifices a nontoken creature.
• Each opponent sacrifices a creature token.
• Each opponent sacrifices a planeswalker.

Aven Heartstabber

Flying
As long as there are five or more mana values among cards in your graveyard, Aven Heartstabber gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch.
When Aven Heartstabber dies, mill two cards, then draw a card.

Invoke Despair

Target opponent sacrifices a creature. If they can't, they lose 2 life and you draw a card. Then repeat this process for an enchantment and a planeswalker.

{"ops":[{"insert":"Slap them silly with flying bullshit\n"}]}

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